Humanity
by Neophiles the Metal
Summary: Blitzwing and Starscream get themselves trapped in human forms, oh the Irony! My second go at a human piece!
1. Chapter 1

"Nooo! Not ze happy jacket! Anyzing but ze happy jacket!"  
Random Blitzwing cackled manically as Starscream blasted his 'happy jacket' into oblivion...  
"Be quiet Blitzwing! Do you want those Autobots to hear us?!"  
"But zat jacket made me hug myself!"  
"Shut up!"  
Alarms went off; Starscream grimaced as he remembered the mission Megatron had given him...

"_You wanted me Lord Megatron?"  
"Ah, yes Starscream. As my most...trusted...soldier, you are to lead a rescue mission to liberate Blitzwing from an Autobot camp..."  
"Why, what's the son-of-a-glitch done now?"  
"He had the urge to attack a task force, consisting of Sentinel and Optimus Prime..."  
"Don't tell me, he got his aft kicked..."  
"Precisely..."  
"And I have to go and get the crosswired freak?"  
"Correct..."_

He found himself, along with Blitzwing, in front of Sentinel Prime...  
"So! A Decepticon who's willing to risk his aft for another of his kind, different..."  
Starscream rolled his eyes, glaring at Icy Blitzwing...  
"Vot?"  
"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes you're worse than Lugnut..."  
To his surprise, Icy didn't become Hothead, instead leaning across to whisper something...  
"It might not look like it, but zis iz part of a plan..."  
"What, getting yourself and me captured? Some plan..."  
"Patience, it iz a new type of transformation zat Megatron vill be interested in..."  
Starscream paused...  
"Go on..."  
"Do you recall zoze Earthlings and zere planet?"  
"How could I forget...?"  
"Vell, ze Autobots have decided zat zey vant to learn more..."  
"And that ties with us how?"  
"Just imagine Starscream, an army of beings zey can't hurt because of zere reputation..."  
Starscream imagined this as best his processor could, getting surprising results...  
"Sneaky..."  
" Danke, ve'll be heading past ze lab on ze vay to ze holding cells..."

The Autobots liked to keep their corridors well lit, to avoid unnecessary encounters with mass changing Decepticons like certain factions of the Decepticon Army. As they were escorted down the corridor an Autobot by the name of Longarm Prime took lead...  
"State objective soldier."  
"We're taking these two Decepticreeps to the holding cells sir..."  
Longarm dismissed this coolly...  
"I shall take command of these, take a break..."  
"Thank you sir!"  
Starscream watched the two Autobots head down the corridor...  
"Lucky punks..."  
Longarm led them to the cells, and past them...  
"Say Autobot, is your GPS scrambled? Ze cells are behind us..."  
"I am aware of that, Blitzwing, but I want answers..."  
To their surprise the Autobot insignia switched to a Decepticon, the hands swapped for claws and the face disappeared apart from a single red eye...  
"Who are you?"  
"My name is Shockwave, I am the Decepticon Reconnaissance Officer under service of Megatron."  
"A turncoat?"  
"Unlike you Starscream, no, what are you doing here anyway?"  
"I believe zat zere is a device zat ze Autobots use to dispatch humanoid forms of zemselves for reconnaissance, if ve can capture it ve could deal a few knockout blows to zere forces..."  
Icy Blitzwing span to Random-mode...  
"Zat, or strawberry jam!"  
Shockwave rubbed his chin in thought (an almost impossible feat for one without such a device), before agreeing...  
"Very well, I shall assist in getting you in and out, but I cannot help you when you are within Earths atmosphere..."  
"And why's that?"  
"Ze atmosphere is heavily magnetic; communication is almost impossible vizout satellite boosting..."  
Silence, then...  
"But we'll be fine, right?"  
"The machine is still in testing, it's risky and unsafe..."  
Starscream turned to Blitzwing, his trademark smirk on his face...  
"You're going first..."

The gate was more impressive than Starscream had considered, it looked like something out of a human television show he had 'accidentally' picked up while being bored. Hothead Blitzwing turned to Shockwave...  
"Hurry up, zoze accursed Autobots could enter at any time!"  
The gate powered up, a blinding light poured from its centre that illuminated the room...  
"There, now hurry before my cover is compromised..."  
"Danke Shockvave, be ready for our return!"  
Random jumped into the vortex, screaming...randomly...  
"Ahahaha! BONZAI!"  
Starscream shook his head, jumping through after the cackling triple-changer. Shockwave returned to Longarm Prime, shut down the gate whilst shaking his head and left the room.


	2. Day 1

Blitzwing awoke to the smell of freshly cut grass, most likely because he was flat on his face.  
"Uhn, ok, who spiked ze High-Grade?" he questioned, sitting up and feeling his face.  
He stopped, feeling his face again, it felt...warm, smooth and...squishy.  
He jumped up, glancing at every part of his teenage body...  
"Vat's zis, boots, helmet..."  
He felt his face, knocking of a red monocle with his glove...  
"Monocle, goggles..."  
He span, his deep purple trench coat swirled around...  
"Und a velly nice outfit..."  
But something was missing...  
"Random...Hothead?" he called out, rapping his helmet in case they were asleep.  
Blitzwing knew that he'd be stuck on Icy, the downside being not being able to talk with them until...  
"Vat do zou mean, I look _fett_?!" shouted a voice, a notable source of ill-temper.  
Icy was certain that was Hothead, the accent notably thicker and even bordering German itself.  
Running to the source of the ranting, Icy found Hothead arguing with Random.  
What surprised Icy was that the completely opposite personalities looked almost the same; he began to observe the two teens with mild fascination.  
Random was a few inches shorter than Icy, wore a mask round his mouth that was painted to imitate his jack 'o' lantern grin and the helmet was tilted so his eyes were shrouded in shadow.  
Hothead however, was huge, easily reaching six feet tall and back-up muscle to prove it, with his visor clamped over his eyes and his tanned face scrunched into a vicious glare.  
"I'm juzt saying zat purple izn't zour colour!" the crazy doppelganger remarked, holding up his hands in defence. Not that it would do much good, Hothead was stronger than he and Icy put together...  
"Graah, ven did zou become a modeschöpfer kritiker?!" growled Hothead, raising his fists to bury the person in front of him into the ground.  
That was another thing Icy noticed; Hothead was using more German words than Random, while Random was presumably blurting out whatever appeared in his head at the time in a thicker accent than Icy...

'Now to make mein move...' he thought, stepping through the bushes to greet his new comrades.  
Hothead tackled Random to the floor, getting ready with the insulting punches when Random saw Icy...  
"Icy!" he squealed, overjoyed at his comrades entrance.  
Hothead looked confused, giving Random an odd look...  
"Who, who do zou see?" he roared, whipping his head from left to right so fast his helmet span round.  
Random took this opportunity to crawl from underneath Hothead and pull off a large branch from a nearby tree...  
"I vill zerstören ze ungläubig who turned out ze light!" screamed Hothead, his fists flailing around as if fighting thin air.  
Random happily skipped back over to Hothead, who was now being consulted by Icy...  
"Ok Hothead, zis vont hurt ein stange..." he said, laughing evilly as he bought the branch over his shoulder in a baseball position.  
Icy retreated to behind a tree, waiting for Hothead to pull Random's head off.  
There he saw a billboard, saying...  
**FREE SPACE TO RENT, CONTAINS THREE BEDROOMS AND ALL THE ESSENTIALS! APPLY IN BUILDING BELOW!**  
Icy wandered over to the shabby building, giving the outside a critical look...  
"Hmm, shabby, old, crumbling remains of a factory..." he muttered, inspecting the buildings front and shrugging his shoulders...  
"Ay, was der hölle?" he said as he walked inside, now confronted by a small man with an equally small desk. The little man looked at Icy with scared eyes, as if his whole world had just slowly collapsed into a sorry puddle...  
"C-can I h-help y-y-you, s-sir?" he asked in a tiny voice, clearly not having a customer for years.  
Icy was about to unload some ice blasts when he slapped himself mentally...  
_Du idiot! Du ar vermutet zu betragen inkognito!  
_Icy steadied himself, leaning down to the little man...  
"Ja, I vould like to buy zis building..."  
Before he knew it the little man had thrown him the keys, grabbed his jacket, shook Icy's hand and had taken off down the street like a hare shouting "Fools, the world is full of fools!"  
This left Icy holding the keys with a slightly disturbed look on his face...  
"Uh, sank you?" he questioned the air, before looking down at the keys and realising that Random and Hothead were outside, together, in broad daylight...  
"Oh scheiße!" he growled, locking the door and running to the top of a nearby hill to get a good look round.

He didn't have to look far; the sound of clashing metal was all he needed to hear.  
Well, that and a few screams of nearby bystanders that were witnessing a death match between a lumpy-und-pissed-off Hothead and a random-as-hell psychomaniac holding a tree branch like a club...  
"Aw c'mon Hothead, iz zat ze best zou've got?" cackled Random, whirling the branch through the air expertly...  
"Graah!" roared Hothead, picking up metal pipe "I vill melt zou into schlacke!"  
"Bring it on mädchen!" shouted Random as he sprinted at Hothead, branch spinning above his head...  
"Prepare for vergessenheit!" Hothead screamed the metal whizzing through the air in blind rage.  
Icy had joined the chanting crowd that had ringed round the two brawlers...  
"Vat's going on viz zeze two?" he asked a bystander who was next to him...  
"I don't know they just started fighting..." said the girl, looking at him with an uninterested glance "Hey, you sound just like them..."  
Icy sharply straightened up, trying to think up an answer at the speed of sound.  
It didn't help that he was blushing either, and the best he could come up with was...  
"Uhh...brozzers?"  
The girl stared at him for a while before smacking her forehead...  
"Of course! That's why you share the accent!" she said, extending her hand "My name's Marie, Marie Hamton...you are?"  
Icy took under a second to come up with a name, and one that couldn't be more obvious...  
"Eisig Von Blitz, ze vun wiz ze metal pipe iz Hitzig Von Blitz, und ze vun zat cackles iz Planlos Von Blitz."  
He took her hand, meanfully shaking it and asking...  
"Could zou...help me to separate zem before zey kill each ozzer?"  
Marie grinned and nodded, ready for action.

Five seconds later and Random was pinned to the floor with Hothead ready to beat his face into a bloody pulp, when Icy tackled him off.  
The two former personalities rolled about on the floor, dealing many verbal abuses while Marie helped Random out of the crowd...  
"Here, grab my hand and I'll get you cleaned up..." she said carefully slipping her hand into his.  
To Random sanity was a word that meant nothing to him, but as the femme slipped her hand into his he felt the world start revolving around him, and make more sense than normal...  
"Umm...err...Sank...You?" he stuttered, his vision starting to blur into blackness "I...I...feel...ick..."  
And then he collapsed.  
Marie turned to see the sudden increase of weight, screamed at the sight of Random completely out-cold...  
"Eisig, Planlos just collapsed!" she shouted at the middle of the crowd, to which a few outside rushed over to get a look.  
Above the chanting and the yelling Icy and Hothead both heard her cry and thought the same thing...  
"Scheiße!" they both shouted, barging through the stragglers to Random's position.  
Icy managed to slide to his "brother's" side, while Hothead screamed at everyone to back away by using an assortment of German curses that came at his disposal.  
Icy checked him over, rapping on the side of Random's helmet in case he was still functioning.  
Muttering a few German words he turned and gave the oddest request in the whole situation...  
"Hitzig, abholen mich ein auto batterie!" he yelled at the top of his voice, to which Hothead ran to the nearest car, tore off the bonnet and snatched out the battery before running over and landing beside him.  
Marie watched in confusion as Hothead plugged two wires into the car and Icy asked for the owner's keys and plugged the remaining two wires into a small wound that he had made in Random's chest.  
Throwing Hothead the keys and clearing the area, he pulled on his goggles and shouted...  
"Hitzig, vorsprung dass maschine!" he yelled, a dangerous smile forming on his lips as electricity surged along the cables until...

To two of Blitzwing's personalities the world was a mass of strobe lights, to the other one, the feeling of wind was being sprayed at his face by an air cannon.  
To everyone else, there was a cackle along the lines of...  
"HE AWAKES! HAHAHAHAHA!"  
...and the recumbent body that once lay on the floor was now over 30 feet into the air and continuing to climb until the magical 40 feet, where gravity got its say and started to pull him downwards at 150 miles per hour.  
Hothead and Marie moved over to Icy, watched the body bury itself in a tree and cause a very cliché nuclear explosion...  
"Eisig, is he going to be alright?" asked Marie, an eyebrow raising to influence the question.  
Icy gave her a Couldn't-care-less expression, clearly tired from today's events...  
"Trust me, he's been head-butted, maimed, blown to pieces and pretty much anyzing else zou can sink of..." said Icy, before asking...  
"Zou haff a home?"  
Marie blushed, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment...  
"Not really..."  
Hothead stepped in at that moment...  
"Zou may liff vis uz until ve depart!" he exclaimed, taking her shoulder and leading her towards the building...  
"Az long az zou don't piss me off, or touch mein stuff, or beat up Random because zat's mein job..."  
Icy sighed, and when things were already getting off to a bad start he suddenly remembered Random, pausing for only a second until shaking his head...  
"Aah, he'll be fine if I leave ze door unlocked..." he said to the sky in general, before running to catch up with Hothead...

Meanwhile, an unfamiliar shape flickered in the shadows, but a familiar voice sniggered and said...  
"Extremely promising..."  
The shape burst into a fit of laughter, at least until someone threw a flower pot at his head...

**Phew, done on day one!  
Day two is up next!  
And for those who don't know the German language, the link for the dictionary I used is below...**

**./English-German-Dictionary/**

**Thanks for reading!  
NTM**


End file.
